Giving up, or giving in?

I’m 25 weeks pregnant. 25 weeks and 4 days if we’re being specific, which I’ve learned through pregnancy forums, we are. And I have given in to the fact that I will not wear cute shoes again for at least 15 weeks. Or 14 weeks and 3 days. If I wear said shoes I am absolutely assured to have a killer backache by 2:00 pm. Even though I sit in a fluffy chair all day! Truth be told I will probably end up with a backache anyway, but with comfy shoes I can postpone that until about 6:00 pm, which is going home time anyway. I fought this at first. I work in a professional setting and try to look the part, but it simply became not worth it. I am lucky because I own my practice so I can make that choice, but I look like a fool. My husband (smart man) says, “You’re pregnant, no one cares. And you’re the boss so who is going to fire you?” But that doesn’t stop me from having my meltdowns about not looking put together anymore. I fear that my clients, new ones especially, won’t take me seriously when I’m kicking around in sneakers. I think it also represents the larger theme of losing control over parts of my own body. I already cannot wear my favorite clothes, I move slowly, I can’t bend the way I used to, I don’t sleep like I used to, everything is changing and I have no control over it. Which is ok! I am growing a new human and this is temporary. But common man…. I can’t even have my shoes? Call it giving up or call it giving in to Mother Nature, either way, this girl is resigned to tennies for the next 14 weeks and 3 days.

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